Ja-...Nic Car Bel

A few words to use

niccarbel — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 03:32:22 +0000

Once again, the dreadful attitude of Kevin “Bloody” Rudd’s reckless Labour government has come to light due to the flawed regulations recently created that unfairly favour the printing entitlements of the Government. These disgraceful regulations have banned MPs from publishing documents that include any of a list of fourteen words, some of which I’ve already included.
They’ve already shown that they are inept at keeping illegal immigrants off bay (the legal ones are OK), and are now starting to disregard and neglect the freedom of those already within Australia. Incompetent and incompetence are two very similar words that can describe this government.
All it seems they have done is hand out cash to stop a global economic climate, be in government while rates are being lowered, purchase a Mazda ute and allow Rudd to be interviewed by a camera-man in a hard-hat whilst at a press conference.
Many Australians point the finger at communist countries for laws that protect the government. There’s even a building in Japan that does this (Yasukuni Shrine), and for years we’ve been degrading the Chinese government for laws such as these.
Some might call them an irresponsible government that recklessly continues to run our country through mismanagement that leads to disastrous consequences. I don’t say that, but I can say these words because I’m not a Member of Parliament. However, I do say that this could be some sort of a conspiracy theory.
What I’ve noticed is that Kevin Rudd speaks a lot of Mandarin. Now, I have a theory that he could be a spy deployed by the Chinese government to infiltrate the Australian government, so that the Chinese government can declare war on us and take over the nation, but really, who knows? Harold Holt is still alive, right?

The Refugee Problem

niccarbel — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 03:29:52 +0000

I know a lot of people have been worrying and fussing about these refugees that are trying to enter the country on sea vessels. Some people don’t know the real dangers of these people coming into Australia. Apparently, they’re from Sri Lanka, and for all we know, these people might be coming into Australia to infiltrate our cricket system, and thus helping Sri Lankan cricket get better and finally being able to beat us at our own game.
There’s also people stating that we might not know what they were back in their homeland, and that some of the people could be criminals. Well, I believe it’s now suffice to say that there is potential for some of these people to become criminals. You could say they’ve already committed a crime without even actually entering the country yet. By threatening mass suicide if they aren’t let in, that’s pretty much blackmail. That puts them in the same boat as the person who blackmailed Masterfoods Corporation four years ago. Maybe we can give them some Mars Bars and they’ll be happy.

Kyle Sandilands

niccarbel — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 08:45:36 +0000

What’s the big deal? Information was not disclosed to them before they went to air

Leviticus

niccarbel — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 13:47:49 +0000

This is the section of the Bible, and the Torah/Tenak, that contains many various laws for adherants. Due to the majority of my society being Christian (predominantly Catholic though), I will most likely refer to adherents as Catholics. So to any Jews who take offence by that, apologies in advance.

For those people who are educated enough, Leviticus is the book that contains probably the majority of the laws for adherants, and one of the most quoted ones, Leviticus 20:13

If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

And this is why most people believe that homosexuality is wrong, and that gay marriage should stay outlawed.

But did you know that the following people are also sinners;

Farmers 19:19, and pretty much everyone.

Gotten haircuts? (Leviticus 19:27)

Shaved (See above)

Ever worn clothes of more than one fabric? Probably. You have just sinned. (Leviticus 19:19)

Blind and lame people, as well as those with a flat nose, aren’t welcome to the Church. (Leviticus 21:17-18)

Ever had sex with a woman during her period? Well, I suggest you should start to dismember yourself, starting with between your legs. (Leviticus 20:18)

God also wages war on those with tattoos (Leviticus 19:28), those who do not stand infront of people with grey hair (Leviticus 19:32)

And Leviticus isn’t the only silly book of the Old Testament. Deuteronomy is pretty stupid too.

Anyone who dreams or prophesizes anything that is against God, or anyone who tries to turn you from God, is to be put to death. (Deuteronomy 13:5)
If anyone, even your own family suggests worshipping another God, kill them. (Deuteronomy 13:6-10)
If you find out a city worships a different god, destroy the city and kill all of it’s inhabitants… even the animals. (Deuteronomy 13:12-15)
Kill anyone with a different religion. (Deuteronomy 17:2-7)

So, uh…who’s up for confession?

Men shouldn’t have to pay tax

niccarbel — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 12:28:06 +0000

Well, well, well, Coles..you kinda have to hand it to yourselves.

Gone are the days of males being the superior sex, and it seems that now, in the eyes of supermarkets, that females are the superior race? Whatever happened to Equal Opportunity and equal rights.

If you can’t tell already, I’m referring to Coles latest promotion: You shouldn’t be taxed for being a woman. Coles will pay the GST to the government for all feminine hygiene products bought in our stores, so that you don’t have to.

Well…I suggest a discount on condoms so that women don’t complain if they get pregnant. (That might be a bit too far)

Could that extend into discounts from deoderant, and excetera? I don’t know, I haven’t seen a list of what they discount, and haven’t been in the store..but tomorrow may change that, when I go to have a little bit of a look see, with the trusty Anti-Discrimination Act 1977 (NSW) if all goes to plan. Section 24 of this Act states:

24 What constitutes discrimination on the ground of sex

(1) A person ( “the perpetrator”) discriminates against another person ( “the aggrieved person”) on the ground of sex if, on the ground of the aggrieved person’s sex or the sex of a relative orassociate of the aggrieved person, the perpetrator

Looks like I’m gonna have to go shopping tomorrow…(although someone can probably say that the Act says otherwise…but that’s why im going to do some investigationing, Ryan Shelton styles)

You’ve Got to Hide Your Love Away

niccarbel — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 00:03:16 +0000

Here I stand with my long hair
It's funny because I'm small
If it's gone, I'll get sunburnt
But I'll still be two feet tall

Everywhere, people stare
Saying I need to shave
But I think when they're telling me
"I'd rather wish it stayed"

Hey, I'd like to grow my facial hair
Hey, I'd like to grow some longer hair

The staff at the school always cry
"Get that hair off of your chin"
But at our grad, they should see us then
See Zac's beard that's thin
How can they say to me,
"That beard's gotta go away"?
At the grad, they'll all have frowns.
'Cause we grew it for that day

Hey, I'd like to grow my facial hair
Hey, I'd like to grow some longer hair

Can’t Buy Me Love

niccarbel — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 00:02:34 +0000

Can't buy your lunch?
Lunch?
Can't buy your lunch?
I’ll buy you onion rings my friend
If it makes you feel alright
I’ll get you calamari rings my friend
If it makes you feel alright

‘Cause I get generous
When you’re hungry,
Hungry for something not dove

I’ll get you something with olives
If you’ll buy for me in a week or two
Does it matter if I get jam sandwich?
Because I don’t think they have tofu

‘Cause I get generous
When you’re hungry,
Hungry for something not dove

Can't buy your lunch?
Everybody tells me you’re poor
Do you have lunch?
No, no, no you don’t?

If you don’t want no onion rings
Then I’ll get you chicken that’s fried
No, I don’t think they have onion rings
So, I’ll get you steak that’s dry

‘Cause I get generous
When you’re hungry,
Hungry for something not dove

Can't buy your lunch?
Everybody tells me you’re poor
Do you have lunch?
No, no, no you don’t?

If there is no calamari rings,
Do you want some chopped up chives?
If they upsize your onion rings,
Do you want some fries?

‘Cause I get generous
When you’re hungry,
Hungry for something not dove

Can't buy your lunch?
Everybody tells me you’re poor
Do you have lu-hun-huuunnncchh?
--
Nic is the Shortman
They are the Tallmen
I am the Chorus

All You Need is Love

niccarbel — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 00:01:57 +0000

Love, Love, Love
Love, Love, Love
Love, Love, Love

Everything we do cannot be done
They make you sing songs 'bout religion
They tell you what to say
And then you learn to know it's lame
It can't please me.

The money they make is never paid
There's no-one they save, but that's not what they claim
Nothing's what they do,
But they've learnt how to make us blue inside
They're sleazy

Priests are hard to love
The Pope is hard to love
The Church is hard to love, love
To leave is all we need

Love, Love, Love
Love, Love, Love
Love, Love, Love

Priests are hard to love
The Pope is hard to love
The Church is hard to love, love
To leave is all we need

Everything they wrote is never known
Everything we see is overblown
It's somewhere you can be,
that isn't where you're meant to be
Can you please leave?

Priests are hard to love
The Pope is hard to love
The Church is hard to love, love
To leave is all we need

Priests are hard to love
(All together now)
The Pope is hard to love
(Everybody)
The Church is hard to love, love
To leave is all we need

To leave is all we need
To leave is all we need
To leave is all we need
To leave is all we need
To leave is all we need
To leave is all we need
To leave is all we need
To leave is all we need
To leave is all we need
To leave is all we need
To leave is all we need
To leave is all we need
To leave is all we need
To leave is all we need
To leave is all we need
To leave is all we need
To leave is all we need
To leave is all we need
To leave is all we need
To leave is all we need
To leave is all we need
To leave is all we need
To leave is all we need
To leave is all we need
To leave is all we need
To leave is all we need
To leave is all we need
To leave is all we need
To leave is all we need
To leave is all we need
To leave is all we need
To leave is all we need
To leave is all we need
To leave is all we need
To leave is all we need
To leave is all we need
To leave is all we need
To leave is all we need
To leave is all we need
--
Nic is the Shortman
They are the Tallmen
I am the Chorus

Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds

niccarbel — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 00:01:14 +0000

Picture yourself at a table in central,
With tantruming kids and movie previews
Look over your shoulder, and notice quite slowly,
All the group has the saddened blues.

Subway food wrappers of yellow and green,
Vanilla coke in your hand.
Look for the Tom with the art major disguise,
And he's gone.

Thomas in the library with errands
Reading a book about legends
Finishing a sentence in seconds
Ahh...

Return to the school with your mind set on finding
Where greedy young Sally's eat purchased meat pies,
All teachers greet you as you go past the worksites,
That beep so incredibly high.

Steven Vico's taxi appears on the curb,
Waiting to take all away.
Climb in the back with your head in Nic's lap,
And you're gone.

Steven in his house with almonds
Leon in the room with his fast hands
Thomas in the Library with no plans
Ahh...

Picture yourself at home on a computer,
With email porters with unoriginal song sighs,
Suddenly an email appears in the inbox,
Oh Nic with no tallmen he cries.

Writing many songs we've all planned
Sending off our emails in broadband
Hoping copyright wont remand
Ahh...

Thomas in the Library oh how grand
Zaccy trying to make this song expand
Gonna go into writers quicksand
Ahh...

Thomas in the library with diamonds
Steven in his house with diamonds
Lucy in the sky with diamonds

-You guys have no idea how hard that was to write, it better be in the top
three or I swear-

Sir Lord Doctor Zacharius Gordon Mazzon Esq. XIII
Player of games
Slayer of Dragons
Burner of thumbs
Eater of quiche

Eight Days a Week

niccarbel — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 23:59:43 +0000

Ooo we're sick of schoolwork
Hope they know it's true
We don't need no schoolwork
Hey we all have swine flu

Help us, save us, help us, save us
We ain't doing nothin' but schoolwork
Five days a week

Keeps on coming every, day
Just get outta my mind
I almost want to, hurl
Giant waste of time

Help us, save us, help us, save us
We ain't doing nothin' but schoolwork
Five days a week

Five days a week
I hate school
Five days a week
is not enough to show my rage

Holidays coming up, now
It just can't be true
Homework takes us through
Hell I just might sue

Help us, save us, help us, save us
We ain't doing nothin' but schoolwork
Five days a week

--
Dr. Jamie Parsons VIIII, M.D. (Manic Depressive)

Annie Are You OK?
Are You OK?
Are You OK Annie?

Dedicated to Walter B. Kickelwikel,
inventor of the Portable Ironing Board Cover